Beverly Hills 90210, S01 E04: The Bubble
Last week, everyone went bowling, Naomi discovered that her dad was having affair, and Silver admitted that her mom is a drunk mess. This week: Naomi confronts the home-wrecking hussy, Annie attempts to date, and Dixon gets a job at a familiar place.
Chez Wilson, over familial breakfast, Harry announces bad news: Annie’s drama teacher has had a family emergency, and has had to go back to Atlanta until further notice. Annie, with her customary sensitivity, fails to express concern about the emergency, and merely freaks out, asking if this means that Harry’s cancelling the musical. Harry says that he doesn’t have any choice, if he can’t find someone else. Tabitha, who is back from whatever drying-out facility they shunted her off to last week, watches with interest as Annie whines that they’ve worked so hard, and the musical is amazing. Debbie asks how hard it is to find at acting teacher in LA: she could throw a rock out the window and hit and actor. Do it, Debbie! “Fine,” Tabitha announces momentously, “I’ll do it.”
There is a crushing silence, and Annie delicately asks if she isn’t too busy writing her memoirs, by which she clearly means “you are an embarrassing old drunk, and you directing the musical would be social death for me.” Tabitha says portentously that when the theatre is in pain, she comes to mend the wound. To Annie’s horror, she starts rambling on about breathing exercises, adding that she used to have a director who said that if you’re not breathing from the ass and reaching for the skies the back row won’t hear you. “I slept with him,” she adds vaguely, wandering off. Harry is revolted.
Chez Clarke, Tracy, Charlie and Naomi are having their Christmas photo taken, and Naomi is wearing a foul, ruffly concoction of a dress. Won’t someone please dress the poor girl in a decent outfit, just once? (Advance warning: this does not happen in this episode.) Naomi snippily asks why they’re shooting the Christmas photo without Jen, and Tracy explains that Jen’s sending them a photo from Paris, and they’ll Photoshop it in. The poor benighted photographer does his work, while Naomi continues her big sulky sulk.
Tracy asks Charlie if they can lend the beach house to friends who are having renovations, but Charlie says that he’s already lent it to someone from work for the same reasons, and the only reason I’m recapping such a dull piece of dialogue is because it’ll be relevant later. Charlie’s phone rings and he announces that it’s an out of town emergency - i.e. booty call – and scuttles off to take the call. Naomi asks Tracy why they even bother, and stomps off into the house, as Tracy tells the photographer that it’ll be just a second, and Charlie mutters breathily into his phone.
Chez Wilson, Harry tells Dixon he can take Harry’s car to school, as Debbie’s driving him. Debbie and Harry bitch about their realtor in Kansas, and Harry explains to Dixon that they’re having trouble selling the house, which is causing financial angst. Dixon looks freaked out, and Harry belatedly reassures him that things are fine.
And oh, good lord. Naomi’s shoes in this next scene…I have no words. The outfit that she’s wearing has already been fugged (it’s the second one down), but out of shot - and I couldn’t get a decent screencap of them, much to my ire - Naomi is wearing what appear to be tiny black booties, surmounted by frilly white socks. What is it with this show and frilly socks? Is this just some sort of SICK INFANTILISATION?
…anyway, yeah, plot. Naomi and Tracy discuss where they’re going for dinner that night, and Naomi asks if her dad’s coming. Tracy claims that he has a meeting, and Naomi snottily asks if that’s code for “sleeping with his girlfriend.” She asks Tracy to explain to her how she can live like this, and Tracy testily explains it’s just a casual fling, Gail doesn’t even live in LA. Sorry, Tracy, but I don’t think that any relationship of two years’ duration can really count as a fling. Naomi points out that he’s still cheating on her, but Tracy, exasperated, tells her that this is between her and Charlie, and she’s not going to discuss it with Naomi again.
Kelly and Brenda walk into the cafeteria, and Kelly says that she wishes they could have done this at the Peach Pit, and she hates early morning meetings. Brenda says she’s getting a kick out of being there: she can almost hear the chanting of “Donna Martin graduates.” Man, I get such a kick out of any reference to old-skool 90210 on this show; I am genuinely tragic. Kelly asks if Brenda’s seen Donna, and Brenda tells her that Donna’s baby is so cute she can’t stand it. Oh, please let us see Donna’s baby at some point! Brenda blethers a bit about the play she’s in, which will never be relevant to the plot, and then demands dirt on Ryan. Kelly awkwardly says he’s nice – they work together, which is awkward, and he’s ten years younger than her, which is weird. She asked him where he was when Kurt Cobain died, and he said that he was watching cartoons. WHAT? You know you’re in trouble when you’re older than even the adult characters on a show like this; recapping this show is doing little to alleviate my recently-turned-30 angst.
In loaded tones, Brenda asks if “he” knows about Ryan, and when Kelly asks why she’d tell him, Brenda says that “he” might need to know, if things get more serious, because of Sammy. I understand that they’re trying to draw out the suspense on Kelly’s baby daddy, but all this portentous use of the word “he” is making me suspect that Sammy was fathered by Jesus Christ himself.
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